4 Genuinely Weird Gifts for the Person Who Has Everything

Some gifts say “I thought about this for weeks.” These say something else entirely — and that’s exactly the point. If you’re shopping for someone who already owns everything they actually need, here are four objects that solve a problem nobody had, in the best possible way.

This is, genuinely, one of the longest-running novelty toys in production — a plastic pickle that yodels at the press of a button, with a cult following that has outlasted several genuine musical trends. There is no explanation for why this works as a gift. It just does.

Descended from a viral video of an actual screaming goat, this desk toy exists purely to make a noise that startles everyone in a ten-foot radius. Deploy with caution in shared office spaces. Deploy immediately in your own home.

Exactly what it sounds like: briefs, sized for a human hand, worn like a fingerless glove. Marketed, somehow with a straight face, as suitable for “typing comfort.” Nobody has ever bought these for the typing comfort.

The motion-activated singing fish that defined an entire era of novelty gifting in the late ’90s is, remarkably, still in production and still motion-activated. Mount it somewhere your guests will walk past unsuspectingly. It remains just as unsettling as it was twenty-five years ago.

None of these will change anyone’s life. That’s not the assignment. The assignment is a genuine, out-loud laugh when the wrapping paper comes off — and all four of these have a very good track record of delivering exactly that.

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